Poly-synthetic English

Wouldn’t it be whackey if we wrote English like this?

Thisz w’tsh me’ we se’ th’ w’tshw spe’. ‘N naa wz taam tbiu’ frum thbaarr’m vpi, tuu thaa’. Dou hoba’. Aam pak’n mbaz ‘n giv’n thjkarr’mii retshe’. Aarrouwaa’n lerraautsh. Aarrouwaa’n liiv vtaau. Afrraa, wthssirrii rrousliip ‘naa’. Duz taam tbegi? Aage’ mobig b’ rr’mi’ w’rraam thsem z wz. Doutsh unsta’? Aarroum nev tshedzh’n huuwjam.

These are the first three stanzas of a song that you probably know. Can you guess which ones?

If not, how about some grammar? Here’s the conjugation of “to be.”

To be= tbii, I am= -m, you are = -w, he/she/it is= -z, we/they are= -j (past forms -wz, -w, -wz, -w)

Maybe some pronouns?

First person singular nominative= aa-, possessive= m-, objective= –mii, conjunctive= –w’rraa , negative= aarrou-  rhetorical= dourraa, declarative=huuwja
Second person singular nominative= iij-, possessive= j-, objective= –tsh, conjuctive= – w’tsh, negative= iijaa rhetorical= doutsh, declarative= huuwjaa
Third person agentive singular nominative= 0-, possessive= s-, objective= –m, conjunctive= –waade, negative= iirrou, rhetorical=duzii, declarative= huuwii
Third person unagentive singular nominative= w-, possessive= v- objective= -0, conjunctive= –waad’, negative= rrou, rhetorical=duz, declarative= waarr

Although of course a musician might sing in a more redundant and way, with a few archaic words (in italics):

Sthisz w’tsh met’h
We iijse’ th’ iijuuw spet’h
‘N naa wz taam tbiu’ frum thbaarr’m vpi’, raa’ tuu thtsaaph
Dou hobuakh
Pak’n mbaz ‘n giv’n thjkarr’mii retshe’

Aarrouevwaa’n letsh daau
Aarrouevwaa’n liiv thstaau
Kzafrraa
Thssirrii nev sliips ‘naa’

Z taam tbegi, iz’ni’?
Aage’ lirrlbi’ big’ bthe aarr’mi’
Aam dzhus thsem z aa wuz
Naa doutsh unstan
Aam nev tshedzh’n huuwjam

Is that any better? If not, how about a phonetic transcription?

səðɪsəz wəʔtʃə mɛth
wɛ ijəsɛʔ ðəʔ ijuwə spɛth
n̩ na wəz tam təbɪʊʔ fɹʌm ðəbarm̩ əvəpɪʔ, ɹaʔ tu ðəcaɸ
doʊ hoʊbʊæx
pækn̩ məbæz n̩ gɪvn̩ ðəjəkærm̩i əɹɛtʃɛʔ
aroʊɛvəwaʔnə lɛtʃə daʊ
aroʊɛvəwaʔnə liv ðəstaʊ
kəzæfrəɔ
ðəssɪri nɛvə slips əʔ naʔ
z tam təbɛgɪ, ɪzn̩ɪʔ
agɛʔ əlɪrəlbɪʔ bɪgə bəðɛ ɔ arəʔmɪʔ
am dʒʌs ðəsɛm əz a wʌz
na doʊtʃə ʌnəstæʔ
am nɛvə tʃɛdʒn̩ huwəjæm

Give up? Fine.

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